What about the other guy?

Since my accident, many people have asked me what I know about the other driver. Well, I have since learned his name and age and the town he lives in. I have no desire to share that information here. I have heard rumors of his injuries sustained and have also learned some details of how the accident happened.
One thing that was communicated to me was that as he was being extracted from his vehicle, he said, “ Tell the other driver I’m very sorry.”

We can get into the “shoulda coulda woulda’s” of the accident but the bottom line is that it happened and nothing we can do now will change that. I could just as easily be in my current state by loosing control on an icy road in winter and having a single car accident. Accidents do happen. People die and people get hurt every day.

So what about the other guy? He knows his vehicle was at fault. Since I was in the process of trying to ditch my car on my side of the road to avoid the accident, I know that there was nothing I did to contribute to making the accident happen.
He knows I was badly injured. He knows I will be out of commission for a significant amount of time. He had his own set of injuries to deal with. He has his own set of medical bills, sacrifices, and inconvenineces that the accident created for him. The accident may end up being more of a personal and finanacial hardship for him. The injuries may be more permanent for him than for me.

So can I forgive him? My answer is, yes I can. There are so many reasons that lead me to that declaration.

Part of the Lord’s Prayer says, “Forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who have trespassed against us.” That kind of is where the rubber meets the road isn’t it? I am instructed by Christ to forgive him. I should also be quick to remember that this man did not single me out to be the object of an intentional act.

Ephesians 4: 32 says, “Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgive each other just as in Christ God forgave you.” Not to forgive goes against the counsel of scripture. This particular verse causes me to ask, am I disrespecting the grace I received by not extending it in my actions? Do I devalue it in my eyes by not offering grace and mercy as I am able to? Do I express a disbelief in or disloyalty to the free gift of forgiveness I profess to have received by not offering it?

I know that one of my favorite expressions in talking to people about unforgiveness would really affect me if I did not choose to forgive. “ Unforgiveness is a poison that we drink waiting for someone else to get ill or die.” The emotional upheaval that it would cause me not to forgive the other driver is not worth it to me.

Finally, I am no more favored and no less favored by God than then man who hit me. God is especially fond of both of us, not just me. Who knows, this man might end up being my neighbor in heaven someday. Or maybe I might have an opportunity to share the hope I have with him some day here on earth. What if my accident was part of God’s plan so that might happen?


Sobering thoughts.
Stay close to Jesus

Bob

Living the Serenity Prayer

Many people are somewhat familiar with the first few lines of Reinhold Niebuhr’s well-known Serenity Prayer. Sadly they are unaware it is much longer. Don’t know how that got started but the prayer in its longer version is rich with a fuller understanding of what the first stanza of the prayer positions us to experience.

As you can see I have had that posted as a side bar on my blog as a permanent fixture. Why? Because I believe that the petitions being presented in the prayer do give us the power to experience life on earth in an emotionally spiritually healthy manner.

If you are reading this and don’t know me too well, I need to give you some background. Back on July 1, I was involved in an auto accident that quickly turned my world upside down. If you want the details you can go to www.caringbridge.org/visit/bobgrover.
The bottom line at the moment is that I have received some significant injuries from that accident that will keep me sidelined for weeks and maybe even months to come. The accident was not my fault but none-the-less I was in it and nothing we can do can reverse that.

Truly I find myself engaging the words of the Serenity Prayer with a sobering reality. I have the choice to accept the things I cannot change or rebel against them. I have the opportunity to change the things that are within my sphere of influence to do so or sit and do nothing. At the heart of it all is perspective and attitude.

Perspective for me is what my worldview is. I see life as an experience here on earth that has a finite length to it; a beginning and an end for me, the day I was born and the day I will die. But my perspective goes beyond all this earthy experience because I believe God created us with eternal intentions and therefore our earthly journey is only a short leg of the journey. (That belief alone draws a radical line in the sand when it comes to perspective. Those who cannot grasp that as a reality immediately head down a different road when it come to perspective and attitude.)

Further, I believe I was created to be in a living dynamic real relationship with God. I believe God provided a means for my intimacy with Him through the sacrifice of his son Jesus Christ on my behalf so that nothing other than my potential to have a stubborn attitude could ever come between us. I believe that because of this sacrifice (specifically for my sins) I am assured that I will have eternal life. I have accepted Christ as my Savior and equally as important I have submitted to Him as Lord

This perspective radically affects my attitude. There are things that come into play as a follower of Christ that have a significant influence in my attitude toward my circumstances because I have a different perspective.

Below is an "inventory" of things I would list as perspectives and attitudes

First, it’s not the end of the world. Even if I had died that day (which at the moment I thought was a sure thing) I knew it wasn’t over. It gave me courage in the moment.

I am not angry with God because this happened. (I also know because of my familiarity with the conversations in the Book of Psalms that He would have lovingly let me wrestle with Him had I chosen to be angry or disappointed) I know He is a sovereign God and has reasons for allowing good people to die young and painful suffering to enter into anyone and everyone’s life.

I know that scripture assures me that throughout all of this God has never stopped loving me and my family (Romans 8:38-39)

I know that God assured me, sometime after the moment of the accident, that I was not going to die that day and that He still had plans for me. I am open to considering that these current circumstances will be used as part of that plan.

I know that my current sufferings are temporary and I have the opportunity to glorify Him as I work through these circumstances. I know that God will use these events to for my good as well as others (Romans 8:26).

I know that I am healing remarkably fast because of God’s grace and the petition of many prayers being lifted on my behalf.

I know already that my experiences on this current journey are enriching my ability to minister to people who face worse circumstances than mine.

I know that God is using these circumstances to teach me patience, and help me sort out how I need to serve him in the future.

I am learning to truly take one day at a time and not have expectations on the outcome.

I am learning to transform hardship as a pathway to peace (which I believe is only done by casting all my cares upon Christ.)

I am learning to take things just the way they are and to be content. “Philippians 4:12 I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. 13I can do everything through him who gives me strength.” That secret is knowing and trusting that God is on control and has His eye on my circumstances.

I am trusting that things will turn out according to His will not mine.

I am learning that my happiness cannot be based on my circumstances but rather my relationship with Him and the attitude it produces.

Yes the Serenity Prayer is a crucial reality for me these days and I am blessed that I was intimate with it before I entered this season of my life. As time goes by I am sure my list of perspectives and attitudes will increase.

Take care, and stay close to Jesus,
Bob