What about the other guy?

Since my accident, many people have asked me what I know about the other driver. Well, I have since learned his name and age and the town he lives in. I have no desire to share that information here. I have heard rumors of his injuries sustained and have also learned some details of how the accident happened.
One thing that was communicated to me was that as he was being extracted from his vehicle, he said, “ Tell the other driver I’m very sorry.”

We can get into the “shoulda coulda woulda’s” of the accident but the bottom line is that it happened and nothing we can do now will change that. I could just as easily be in my current state by loosing control on an icy road in winter and having a single car accident. Accidents do happen. People die and people get hurt every day.

So what about the other guy? He knows his vehicle was at fault. Since I was in the process of trying to ditch my car on my side of the road to avoid the accident, I know that there was nothing I did to contribute to making the accident happen.
He knows I was badly injured. He knows I will be out of commission for a significant amount of time. He had his own set of injuries to deal with. He has his own set of medical bills, sacrifices, and inconvenineces that the accident created for him. The accident may end up being more of a personal and finanacial hardship for him. The injuries may be more permanent for him than for me.

So can I forgive him? My answer is, yes I can. There are so many reasons that lead me to that declaration.

Part of the Lord’s Prayer says, “Forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who have trespassed against us.” That kind of is where the rubber meets the road isn’t it? I am instructed by Christ to forgive him. I should also be quick to remember that this man did not single me out to be the object of an intentional act.

Ephesians 4: 32 says, “Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgive each other just as in Christ God forgave you.” Not to forgive goes against the counsel of scripture. This particular verse causes me to ask, am I disrespecting the grace I received by not extending it in my actions? Do I devalue it in my eyes by not offering grace and mercy as I am able to? Do I express a disbelief in or disloyalty to the free gift of forgiveness I profess to have received by not offering it?

I know that one of my favorite expressions in talking to people about unforgiveness would really affect me if I did not choose to forgive. “ Unforgiveness is a poison that we drink waiting for someone else to get ill or die.” The emotional upheaval that it would cause me not to forgive the other driver is not worth it to me.

Finally, I am no more favored and no less favored by God than then man who hit me. God is especially fond of both of us, not just me. Who knows, this man might end up being my neighbor in heaven someday. Or maybe I might have an opportunity to share the hope I have with him some day here on earth. What if my accident was part of God’s plan so that might happen?


Sobering thoughts.
Stay close to Jesus

Bob