Codependency in the Bible? You bet cha’

Reference: Matthew 16: 21 -28

When Jesus told the disciples that he was going to have to suffer at the hands of the Sadducees and Pharisees, 22Peter took him aside and began to rebuke him. "Never, Lord!" he said. "This shall never happen to you!"

Jesus turned right around and jump on his case and said , "Get behind me, Satan! You are a stumbling block to me; you do not have in mind the things of God, but the things of men." Jesus was telling Peter that He needed to look at things from a spiritual, kingdom of God, perspective rather than the predictable worldly perspective.

There is often meaning and purpose in struggles and suffering that are best seen from a spiritual prespective. It would have been far greater undesirable consequences if Peter’s wishes had been followed rather than staying on course with the destiny that Jesus had waiting for Him. If Peter’s wishes were carried out it would interfere with the development of the great plan of salvation that God was revealing for all those who trust in Jesus.

Peter’s intentions were honorable out of a deep love and respect for the one who he had just recently acknowledged correctly as the Messiah: meaning the one who came to save all of Israel. He did not want to see harm come to his leader and he was willing to go to any length to see to it that none would. But, to do this would interfere with what had to happen, what needed to happen so that Jesus’ mission and purpose would be fulfilled.

As I look at Peter’s well intentioned love for the master, I am reminded that that there are things in life that we do not want to see our loved ones go through. But, for the sake of enlightenment to better understand God’s ways or, for the sake of learning life’s valuable lasting lessons, we must get out of the way and let the process happen so that the greater cause can take it’s course.

The mark of a codependent is the addictive desire to want to be someone else’s savior / rescuer because we think it’s for their good if we come to their rescue and a lot of times it is. But sometimes this is not the case. When we interfere to save someone from ”the battle,” and we think we might be saving them from something evil, in reality we may actually be enabling evil to continue its course because we did not let our loved one work through the struggle.

A butterfly prepares and strengthens itself for flight by struggling through the escape from the cocoon. We can cripple it for life if we “help” it out of its cocoon. Likewise, we must evaluate our decisions to “step in and help out.” We must ask,
Why is this happening in the first place?
Are we helping for the right reason? What are my motives?
What will be the long range result of my interference?
Is there actually a benefit to this person if I don’t interfere?
Might something good result if for the individual or for many if I let the
person struggle?


You think Peter “got it” that day when Jesus rebuked him? Do you think he understood his codependent nature as a result of that conversation? Do you think he never gave it another thought after that day? Eh, I’m not so sure. Look at John 18:10-11. What do you think? I’m thinking even when we are standing right next to Jesus, our own human will can get in way the of recovery.

Stay close to Jesus!
REG